We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
