I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
