5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
