hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
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He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
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I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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