And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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