Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
