My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
