we have pet lesbian snakes
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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