About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
