Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
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Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
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P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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