We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
