Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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