What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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