Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(419): View more from Ohio

Want to have sex later?

(614): View more from Ohio

This feels like a trap

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(720): View more from Colorado

how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?

Fav 17 924 3271
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(307): View more from Wyoming

i wish you could fill a pinata with booze

Fav 50 5299 900
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(304): View more from West Virginia

I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work

Fav 31 4972 1000
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(817): View more from Texas

getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.

Fav 58 7714 1986
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(954): View more from Florida

It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.

Fav 10 938 3898
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.

Fav 13 3861 1976
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.

Fav 6 1877 909
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(714): View more from California

Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(

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