Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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