One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
