I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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