those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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