Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Randomize
