I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
You may now shotgun with the bride
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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