guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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