i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
