This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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