It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
