I wanna passion pit in your ass
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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