Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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