idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
You can't just leave with hair like that
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
