did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
