It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
