We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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