I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
