I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
