im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
