I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i just google imaged poop.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Randomize
