I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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