I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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