I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
