anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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