we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
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I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
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Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I enjoy the company of your penis
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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