He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
