I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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