i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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