Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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