is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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