I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
only if we run a train.
done.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
