I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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