did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'