I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice