He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
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I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
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Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.