omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
We left an ass print on the piano.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed