Texts From Last Night

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  (210): View more from Texas

  I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.

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  (210): I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it. http://tfl.nu/afso
  Replies (4) Good night (1411) Bad night (447) Order T-Shirt
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  (760): View more from California

  My girlfriend figured out who you are.

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  (760): My girlfriend figured out who you are. http://tfl.nu/038w
  Replies (16) Good night (505) Bad night (3902) Order T-Shirt
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.

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  (252): I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real. http://tfl.nu/u784
  Replies (20) Good night (584) Bad night (3050) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.

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  (570): My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend. http://tfl.nu/7sdv
  Replies (58) Good night (6006) Bad night (750) Order T-Shirt
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  (650): View more from California

  he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car

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  (650): he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car http://tfl.nu/7wdo
  Replies (5) Good night (1064) Bad night (3403) Order T-Shirt
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  (415): View more from California

  i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again

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  (415): i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again http://tfl.nu/roxu
  Replies (5) Good night (2626) Bad night (1293) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly

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  (617): the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly http://tfl.nu/7zul
  Replies (3) Good night (1817) Bad night (696) Order T-Shirt
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  (760): View more from California

  Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.

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  (760): Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland. http://tfl.nu/5y5k
  Replies (11) Good night (3759) Bad night (495)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic

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  (617): There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic http://tfl.nu/g9j9
  Replies (4) Good night (1276) Bad night (513) Order T-Shirt
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  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before

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  (339): 100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before http://tfl.nu/n0g6
  Replies (5) Good night (852) Bad night (311) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..

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  (603): Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please.. http://tfl.nu/45sb
  Replies (4) Good night (464) Bad night (907) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."

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  (630): That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits." http://tfl.nu/sgvn
  Replies (5) Good night (900) Bad night (385) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen

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  (519): I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen http://tfl.nu/o99g
  Replies (2) Good night (425) Bad night (737) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint

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  (519): He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint http://tfl.nu/uh8l
  Replies (2) Good night (478) Bad night (286) Order T-Shirt
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.

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  (843): Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now. http://tfl.nu/4hes
  Replies (3) Good night (261) Bad night (669)

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