I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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