....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
