I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Why did my mother make you get naked?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize