omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize