I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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