I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
she told me i tasted like america
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please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
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No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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