Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
