i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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