She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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