She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
